Newborn Play

Newborn Play

Do you have a newborn baby at home? Sometimes it can be hard to know what to do with a newborn baby when they're actually awake. First off, that can be rare. (Find this video on Placer Birth Connection’s Instagram page).

Some of the first things we're focusing on with babies, of course is learning to eat and sleep. 

Trust

The number one goal in the first two to three months is to build trust by being responsive, by meeting our baby's needs, and by getting to know them. And even building trust with ourselves that it's okay to be wherever we are. Our goal is to love our baby, take care of our baby, but it's okay to be a first time parent. If you're a first time parent, it's okay to be a first time parent. It’s okay if it doesn’t feel totally natural yet.  Let's embrace being first time parents, but also it's awesome to ask for help and get support. This is a vulnerable time of life, and we all need support at this time.  We all need help, and there are tons of strategies that we can use that can make life better. 

Tummy Time

After trust, our next goal is tummy time. Why do we need tummy time?  The back to sleep campaign for safe sleep tells us that babies are the safest when they sleep Alone on their Backs, in a Crib (ABC).  So they’re on their backs when they’re sleeping.  They’re on their backs in a car seat.  They’re on their backs a lot.  So their muscles can get uneven because they’re constantly pulling against gravity from their back, and they need practice and repetition to pull up using the opposite muscles in their backs.  So in tummy time we are giving them time on their stomachs when they are awake so that they are strengthening their back and neck muscles.  They can have tummy time on our chest or when we hold them facing out.  We want babies to get practice lifting their heads and pushing up against gravity on their tummies.  That’s going to help them prepare for crawling.

Rolling

Another great thing I learned recently that can help to prepare babies for crawling is that when we are doing diaper changes, we can roll the baby to one side; put the diaper under them; and roll them back.  That is good positioning for changing the diaper, and it also is giving them regular practice at rolling.  

Time for Play

When is a good time for play?  If our number one goal is to be responsive, and to build trust, and to teach the baby that she he or she is lovable, and safe, that the world is a safe place, and that they are lovable, then we want to choose times for play that are appropriate, right? So we want to choose times when the baby has already eaten is not hungry, and is not tired. And with little babies, that can be a real challenge. Because the wake window for a newborn baby, generally speaking, is that they're probably going to be tired about 45 minutes to an hour after they last woke up. And that includes time for feeding.  So in the early days, there's not going to be a whole lot of time when they're in that quiet alert state. 

The quiet alert state

The quiet alert state is the time when all of us are most available for learning.  Even for a toddler, we want to teach before the tantrum and after the tantrum, but teaching in the middle of the tantrum is generally not going to be effective, because our brains are not really in gear when we’re in the middle of a tantrum.  Quiet alert is the time when we are not tired; we are not hungry; we are not fussing; we are not crying; we have good eye contact.  

Newborn vision

Newborn vision is at its best when the baby is about arm distance away from us, being held in our arms.  So it’s best to play with our faces about that distance from them.

Time Differences

We want to remember that a baby’s timeline is WAY slower than ours.  If you think about what time was like when you were a young child… I remember that summers as a child felt like they lasted forever.  And as we get older, time generally goes faster.  Summers seem to go by in the blink of an eye.  If we think about that when we are playing, that reminds us that we really have to slow down when we are playing with our baby.  Everything is new for them.  They are going to need a lot more repetition than we think they will.  We’re going to need to have a lot of patience.  One of our goals as new parents is to “ruthlessly eliminate hurry” (Dallas Willard).

3 early games: imitation, cause & effect, sound play

A) Imitation

Imitation could be that we just stick our tongues out over and over and give lots of repetition and watch for the little attempts that the baby is probably going to do as they are watching us.  We can do simple face movements like raising our eyebrows or opening and closing our mouths.  Then when the baby starts to imitate us, we can make a big deal about it.  Even if the baby doesn’t know our words, they know when we are excited and that they did something that we got excited about!  We can imitate facial movements.  We can imitate the way that they move their fingers, their legs, their shoulders.  We can do something that is easy to imitate, or we can imitate something that they are doing.  

B) Cause & effect - trial & error

The idea of cause & effect is that we are an experimenter, testing out different ideas.  “If I do this, the baby does that.”  Similar is trial and error, where we try different causes and see what happens. Parenting is a process of trial and error, and babies use trial and error to figure out the world.  When we imitate the baby, we are teaching them about cause & effect, trial and error, body awareness.  They are learning so so may things.  When I work with families, I bring in a whole toolbox of ideas and a tips and tricks that we can try, and then we experiment to see which tools work best for each baby and each family.  

Another example of cause and effect is, under careful adult supervision, tie a ribbon around their arm or leg that attaches to a toy or a kitchen utensil that is attached to a mobile or a car seat handle or a play gym over their head.  Or we can find mittens that have rattles in them.  The idea is that the baby learns “when I move my arm or leg, I hear a sound” or “when I move my arm or leg, I see that thing move.”  

C) Sound play

The last strategy I’m going to talk about is sound play.  We can read rhyming books.  California First Five has their whole promotional series about Talk, Read, Sing.  And we can pick a sound of the day.  I would probably start with vowels.  You can sing any song without the words… just using that one vowel.  

Make it fun

One of my favorite quotes is that “The critical link between play and learning—the reason we repeat something and therefore learn from it—is pleasure” (Stamm & Spencer’s Bright from the Start).  The idea is that when we are having fun, we want to do it again.  When we do something over and over, the pathway in our brain gets stronger and we learn by repetition.  But it’s the pleasure and the fun that makes us WANT the repetition.  

Closing thoughts

With newborns, we are focusing on trust.  We are focusing on teaching them that they are lovable and worth responding to.  We want them to develop muscles evenly on both sides of the body by giving them intentional time on their tummies when they are awake and supervised.  We can use imitation, cause & effect, and sound play to teach babies important skills in a FUN way.  

Support for c-section scars

Support for c-section scars

This week I spoke with Dr. Hannah Flammang about C-section scars.  We talked about self care and things that we can do to help with recovery and healing after a c-section.

Dr. Hannah is a local chiropractor.  She is opening her practice in Rocklin, but she does a lot more than just chiropractic.  She really likes to work with women’s health patients, specifically in the prenatal and postpartum periods.  C-sections are one of her favorites because she thinks it’s a very underserved population.  You get sent home with pretty much no instructions other than: “don’t lift 20 pounds; watch your scar; make sure that it doesn’t have an infection; come back and see me in 6 weeks.”  Then they clear you and say you’re good to go.  

What are some of the challenges that people have with C-section scars?

Dr. Hannah: A lot of times people want to work on them because they’re experiencing symptoms.  They may have numbness in the area of the c-section scar.  They may have hypersensitivity where you feel like you can’t put on underwear or wear jeans on that area because it’s just so sensitive to touch.  Basically, you’ll have trouble connecting to those lower abdominals because things have been cut and moved around.  Someone may come in to work on core work because they may have what we call shelfing: where the scar starts to develop a shelf and above the scar starts to fold over.  That can definitely be helped by doing some scar mobilization and working on the area.  So when patients come in to me for c-section scar work, it’s normally numbness; hypersensitivity and not being able to wear clothes, or things that are too tight or rub on that area, and having trouble with the abdominal region. That goes hand in hand with diastasis recti, which is the separation that can occur during pregnancy and postpartum.  That can be heightened with a c-section because those muscles have actually been cut through and then stitched back together.  

What are some of the first things we think about healing after a c-section?

Dr. Hannah:  Other than the baby and breastfeeding, this is a major abdominal surgery that unfortunately the medical system doesn’t really treat like a major surgery.  I do a lot of sports rehab work as well, so I see people that have had ACL tears or they’re having rotator cuff repair on the shoulder, and they are given pre-hab (pre-rehab) to their surgery, and then they’re set up immediately with a physical therapist afterwards.  I wish that c-sections were dealt with in the same manner, because it is a massive surgery.  

So I’d say that the initial period should really just be around healing.  I won’t work on anyone’s c-section scar, and I don’t recommend that anyone does any scar mobilization, if they are prior to six weeks postpartum.  So if you’re in that zero to six weeks and you haven’t gone back for your six-week checkup, if your sutures haven’t healed or if you’re having any infection, then we definitely don’t recommend any scar mobilization at that point.  

Once you’ve been cleared and there are no more stitches, then we can start to work on the tissues.  First I have to start with, I am not your doctor and this is not medical advice.  I highly recommend that you reach out to someone in your area, whether that’s me, or I can help you to find someone.  But some of these things you can do at home.  

So if you’re at least six weeks postpartum and you’ve got a nice scar, this is something to be proud of, not something to be embarrassed or hold a lot of fear around.  I find that c-section scars become very emotional because sometimes it was an emergency c-section or things didn’t go the way that you wanted.  You were planning for a natural birth, and it didn’t happen.  And when you end up with a c-section, it’s something to be proud of. You birthed your baby.  

Practical tips

Scar desensitization:

We’re going to start with something I call scar desensitization.  You’re going to use some things that you can find at home. I have an old makeup brush. It’s soft, not rough at all.  And I have a little hand towel.  C-sections cut through the superficial nerves that supply the sensation to the area, and it can give you all sorts of issues like numbness, tingling, and make that area hypersensitive to where you feel like you can’t put on leggings or jeans, and underwear rubs you.  It can be irritating all day long.  So with a healed scar and a clean makeup brush and a towel, we’re going to brush along the scar.  We’re just trying to get that area used to a new stimulus.  You can do it different ways.  You can do it side to side.  We can use the towel which is a bit rougher.  We’re not pushing super hard.  We’re not digging in with the towel.  We’re just getting the area used to different sensations.  If you have a pair of jeans that you can’t wear because of your scar, you can use that jean material just to get used to it.  This is something you an do for like 5 minutes a day before you go to bed, just getting it used to different sensations.  

Pulling

Another thing that I love to get patients to work on is scar pulling. We’re not yanking. All of this is super gentle.  We’re just going to pull in different directions. We’re just trying to get that scar to have mobility.  Scar tissue gets a bad rap. Everyone likes to blame all their issues on scar tissue. But scar tissue is super useful because it heals things, and brings you back together.  As we pull, we are working on getting all those layers mobilized that were cut through.  In a c-section they cut through about seven layers: 1. Skin 2. Fat 3. Rectus sheath (fascia) 4. Separation of the rectus abdominis muscles 5. Parietal peritoneum 6. Loose peritoneum 7. Uterus.  You may feel that one side feels tighter than the other, and that’s okay.  That’s really normal.  

Rolling

Another thing we can do is called skin rolling. That looks like grabbing your skin.  And we just want to remind you that everyone has belly fat.  That’s normal.  We’re going to grab the skin around the c-section scar.  If it’s too tender to do over the top of it, we can go either above it or below it.  We grab some of the skin and gently pull it and roll it.  You can roll slowly over the scar.  Most people will find that the edges of the scar have what feels like little knots in them.  That is scar tissue from the healing, which is important.  But you can use skin rolling to move those around and mobilize them.  It may be a little uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t be super painful.  If we’re pushing 6 out of 10 pain level then we’re either doing it wrong or there’s something else going on.  You can even grab it and go sideways.  

Massage

The next step would be to go even a little bit deeper, so I normally recommend that people do this while on their back.  It’s great to do at night before you go to bed.  We’re going to massage with gentle circles, trying to get things to move a little bit better.  You’ll notice again that once side is typically more tender than the other. You may have more of those feelings of scar tissue on one side more than the other side.  I’d suggest just 5-10 minutes every day.  

Belly Breathing

Belly breathing is something you can do starting in the first few weeks postpartum.  It has nothing to do with the incision itself, and we’re not doing any scar work, so you can do this in the first weeks postpartum whether you have a vaginal delivery or a c-section delivery.

There’s no right or wrong way to breathe, but one I like to work on with postpartum moms is working on getting our breath lower into the abdomen.  This is easiest to lie on your back on a hard surface like the ground.  When we take a deep breath in, I want everyone to see where their breath goes.  You can have a hand on the chest and a hand on the belly if that’s helpful.  We are going to take a deep breath in, and then let it all the way out.  A lot of us are chest breathers, which is not a bad thing, but ideally we’re going to work on getting our breath lower in the abdomen so that we would consider ourselves more belly breathers than chest breathers.  If you’re going to start to work on core strengthening, having your breath down low into your abdomen and using that to your advantage is huge.  

To practice belly breathing, it’s easiest to be on your back.  Put both hands on either side of your abdomen with your fingers on the side so that you can feel both sides of your abdomen.  We’re going to take a big breath in, and we’re going to expand all the way around rather than just pushing the belly out.  We’re trying to breathe into the outsides and into the back as well, trying to get that breath a little bit lower, helping to expand the area and bring awareness to it after a c-section or abdominal surgery.  

Core exercise example

A really good core exercise to work on postpartum is just bringing the legs up into a 90 degree position.  We’re going to make sure that the back is flat on the floor, and we want our hips to be as bent as they need to be to help flatten the back so that we aren’t arching.  We’re keeping our ribs down and ducked. And as we work on breathing into the abdomen, it’s a bit more challenging but it’s helpful to have the legs out because now you have something to push against.  We’re going to breathe nice and low into the abdomen.  Then we will slowly bring our feet down one at a time into a heel tap.  

Lara’s note: this is good to teach our kids too!  Common and Colbie Collait and Elmo have a cute song about belly breathing that you can check out on YouTube.

Hannah’s response:  If you have a baby under the age of 2, watch them breathe. They are expert breathers.  As life goes on and we get to school, we sit more often, we have more stress, and our breathing patterns start to change.  If you watch babies, they are amazing belly breathers.  

Cupping

In the clinic I also use a lot of cupping.  I use the little silicone cups.  It is similar to scar rolling, where we are pulling up on the tissue. The cup is just a way to do that without having to use your hands, and it can get into smaller areas where it’s really hard to pull on the skin.  You can use the cups to get the fascia moving better underneath the scar.  

How to find Dr. Hannah:

The website may not be up and running yet, but it will eventually be craftedhealthco.com.  You can find Dr. Hannah on Instagram at @craftedhealthco.  You can email me at Hannah@craftedhealthco.com.  If you have a c-section scar or postpartum rehab that you would like help with, please reach out to Dr. Hannah.  

Fear of childbirth

Fear of childbirth

An interview with Karen Rothstein of Sacramento Hypnobirthing

This video is available on Instagram here.

Fear

Sometimes moms will think they have fear, and what they really have is just a little bit of worry and a little bit of anxiety. This (technology changes going Live on Instagram) was fear for me. My heart started racing; I started getting a little sweaty. I was getting ready to go into that fight or flight. And when you said, "Do you want to go later?" I was almost gonna go, "Yeah, that sounds like a really good idea." Oh, boy, that is just a perfect, perfect example of what real fear is for me--just having that visceral reaction.

A lot of women come to hypnobirthing because they are referred by their doula or their physician because they have fear. I don't get a lot of what they call primary fear people--people with tokophobia--that's really a fear of childbirth--because usually those people don't get pregnant. 

Distinguishing between worry, anxiety, and real fear

But what I do get is a lot of secondary fear people, and those are people that they may have had a birth trauma, or maybe they lost a pregnancy, and they have high anxiety, and they have real worries that this time it's going to be just a replay of what happened last time, so they get referred to us. We don't diagnose because we're not therapists or educators, but we need to do an assessment and see if they have worry, if they have anxiety, or if possibly they have real fear. When it comes down to real fear, I would say about 70-75% of women have real worry and anxiety. 

Worry

It's important to make a distinction, because a worry is something you can do something about. So here's an example of a worry. Your sister-in-law gives you her used car seat, and she paid a lot of money for it, but you're just not quite sure it is safe for your baby. You end up doing a lot of worrying about it, and you have double worry right? 

If you get a new car seat. You might risk offending.

If you don't get a new car seat, then every time you put your baby in that car seat, you're gonna have a little bit of angst.

A worry is something that you can do something about. You can bite the bullet. Tell her "thank you very much", and get the car seat that makes you feel comfortable. In the long run, that is going to be far healthier than worrying every time you have to put that baby in the car seat. 

Anxieties

The next thing we get are anxieties. Anxieties usually come up somewhere in pregnancy and it's most likely when you go in for one of those checkups and your doctor, or maybe the physician's assistant, or the nurse says something that you just really don't understand, but you're already a little anxious, or you have that white coat anxiety. You don't have a lot of resources in that moment to make decisions in the executive brain, so you don't ask for clarification. You go away from the room, and what happens to you? You just keep running the conversation over and over and over in your head. So by the time you get to me and you've been running that conversation for a while, it takes a little bit of practice to calm that nervous system down. So that's why we think, no matter how you're going to birth, one of the best things you can do is give yourself hypnobirthing education. Together, we start from the beginning, with little mini exercises that help you to calm your nervous system. I mean just breathing alone—that's what I was forgetting to do when I was trying to get on here. If I only stopped to calm my breath, I would have been able to change my whole physiology. But, you know, I didn't do that. Because all of that blood was going away from my brain. And it was getting ready to help me take flight.

Scary birth stories and what Lara calls “mood spread”

So Lara, have you ever sat in a scary movie and been really afraid?  That’s what we call a movie trance.  Even though you knew that wasn’t real, you still had that reaction, right? Where you started breathing a little heavier, perhaps your heart started beating faster.  The subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between what's real and imagined. Anxiety is really worrying on steroids.  So one of the things that happens when you have anxiety is that you keep replaying it in your mind, over and over and over gain.  And pretty soon your subconscious mind takes it as the truth. So you can have little fear or little worries stacking up, and then what it turns into is what I call scary fear. So even if you're not particularly fearful of birthing itself. You can start running your fear trance. That  takes the whole joy out of pregnancy. And well meaning friends, when you say that you’re going to do hypnobirthing or that you’re going to have a natural birth, they have to give you their advice. They go on to share their scary story, and that causes fear in you.  Or you attend a reveal party and you’re obviously pregnant. And so somebody strikes up a conversation with you, and then before you know it everybody is sharing their scary birth stories.  The people who are saying “I had the best birth experience…” those people usually remain silent.  

What can we do?

Breathing

So what we can do first thing is to harness our breath.  Any time you take a deep breath in and you take a longer breath out, you’re going to be calming your Vegas nerve.  We ask women to take a deep breath in to the count of four, have a pause, and then slowly let it out to the count of eight. Just a few breaths like that—as short as 30 seconds, 45 seconds—and you can change your whole physiology, calm your nervous system down. And you can go about your business. Sometimes you can come up with something brilliant to say.  Blood has not drained from you head, and you’ve stayed off the fight or flight treadmill.  

Counting breaths

Lara:  It gets me thinking about what works.  One of the things that worked well for me in labor was that my husband would hold up a certain number of fingers and I had to take that number of breaths.  

That's just really excellent because what that's doing is it's asking you to focus. You're changing your thought pattern as you focus on that and then you have to execute a task, which highlights a different part of the brain. And although women like to think that we can hold two thoughts at once, we really can’t. So that helps you to get down off that platform of fear and have your own focus, which is really important. 

Stroking & touch

And another thing that we teach that's really easy for people to do is to just stroke yourself softly, allowing yourself to feel this type of movement. It's really nice when your birthing companion does it but if they haven't gone into the appointment with you or if they're not standing there when somebody is telling you a scary birth story. Research shows that stroking your skin will do the same thing as taking those calm breaths. It soothes the nervous system. So just when I'm doing that I just kind of go into a light trance.

Yawning

The other thing that works is yawning and stretching out, because those are things that you do when you’re relaxed.  We are changing the physiology of the body. So if you force them, then you’re going to go into that relaxation response.

Breath breaks

We are so stressed as women. We have busy careers. At the time that we're getting pregnant, it's usually the time that many of us are trying to climb up that corporate ladder. Are we going to say no? No. So we have the stress of the looming deadlines, the stress of all of the hormones changing in our body, and we just don't take time to think "I deserve some self love, I deserve some relaxation." So that's one of the things that we stress in hypnobirthing is that every day you need to take breath breaks--five breath breaks a day where you are mindfully breathing. And then when you come home, you want to practice your self hypnosis, because that's gonna put you in that relaxation, what we call the healing room. Just allow yourself to be in that bliss state. And the more you practice going into that state, the easier it will be to get in that state, and the more natural it will feel. Right now our stress state feels natural. In fact, many of us don't know who we are without stress.  

Get started

The next Sacramento Hypnobirthing class starts Monday, October 4, 2021.  There are still two slots left.  I keep the class size small, because some things translate better when you’re in person.  I want to give people an opportunity on a Saturday to get together and do some in person learning, but we want to be COVID cautious too. 

The importance of mindfulness as a parent

The importance of mindfulness as a parent

An interview with Shannon Smith of BellissiMamas

Tell me a little bit about BellissiMamas and about what’s so important about guided meditation.

Shannon:

At BellissiMamas, we are helping moms to be able to create their most beautiful motherhood--whatever that looks like. A lot of what we find in our day as a mother is a lot of chaos. Being able to just set aside five minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes, whatever it is that we can set aside for ourselves. Maybe it's when the children are quietly playing or they are just dropped off at school and you've got five minutes in the car to yourself. Maybe it's during nap time. Maybe it's right after you put them to bed. Whenever you can carve out, just a moment for yourself, to be able just to find that peace within the chaos is really important for our mental, our emotional and really our physical well being. So many times what we think and what we ponder on become our reality. And so if we can really protect ourselves and be proactive as mothers, it really pays forward for us in our day. So that picture of the airplane, and the oxygen mask coming down. What do they always tell us?? They tell us that we have to put our oxygen mask on first, before we can help others around us. 

What we've been talking about BellissiMamas this week is gravity, and how gravity can have both a negative and a positive feeling for us in our lives.  Gravity as we know is the force of nature that pulls down on us. And while sometimes it can feel a little suffocating or heavy maybe burdensome, really gravity is just a way of us being able to feel grounded. So as we come together we're going to just be focusing on that aspect of gravity and how it makes us feel grounded and how we can actually slow down and listen to our bodies, and be able to find that peace, and gravity is something that we can embrace. 

Guided meditation is a release. You can just stop, and you're not thinking about what to do next, you're just letting your body be.  

It’s really a challenge.

Shannon:

It really is—especially when we have lots of distractions, whether it's work piled on the table or animals or children running around the room around us. It is. It's a challenge to be able to set aside that attention for ourselves of just peace--just to remove the chaos. 

Put on Your Own Oxygen Mask Before Helping Others

Lara:  

Yes, exactly.  I always talk about the idea that children are emotional sponges.  All of us really are emotional sponges, so the things that we do to put our oxygen mask on, make a difference for all of us.

Shannon:

Oh they really do. We need to have that grounding, that moment, just to process all of the different sensations and feelings and expectations that are put on us throughout the day. Some of them are self-inflicted. Some of them we put on ourselves. It's good to clear the mind, to let our breath guide us. 

And I think a lot of times people think, "I can't do meditation. My mind wanders." Well actually that's a good thing, because your mind was created to think. That's what your mind is supposed to do. That's your work house, right? That's your computer. And so we want our mind to think. When thoughts come and we're processing through those thoughts, we need to be able to acknowledge them, and then evaluate them. Do they serve us? Great! Hold on to those thoughts. Do they not serve us? Let them go. It's like a little bit of a personal inventory. 

Teaching Mindfulness to our Children

It's a good thing to teach our children too. I think it's really important. Our children feel overwhelmed and feel anxiety or stress over different  things, and it’s really helpful if we can really teach our children to quiet their spirit, and just sit down and just be for a moment. So many times we filled their day with activity and school and sports and they're all wonderful things but our children need time to process also. That helps them to be able to behave, to be able to sleep, to be able to process the world.

Lara:

Mom and son blowing bubbles

I love to work with kids to teach them breathing. I like doing bubbles as like a way to teach fast and slow breathing when they're just starting to learn.

Shannon:

Bubbles are so fun. They're soothing anyway as they float through the air. We do a lot of that with our kids a lot, whether it's a stressful moment--whether they can't sleep, whether they're feeling angry. Children have big emotions, and we need to help them to identify, because sometimes they don't even know what it is that they are feeling. And if we're able to help them to identify how they feel and then give them the way to process those feelings, it makes them happier, more content, more at peace, and it makes really our parenting more peaceful. 

Benefits of Mindfulness FOR Our Kids

Lara:

I know that some of my big parenting breakthrough moments were when I was able to stop and just observe what was going on. By being present in the moment, and being able to observe what was happening, I was often able to figure out--not every time, but a lot of times— that was helpful for me to be able to figure out what was happening and what I needed to do about it.

Shannon:

Exactly, just being mindful of the moment and sometimes we don't have those mindful moments until after the fact. And then letting guilt or remorse or regret set in. Okay, well let's use those moments as a catalyst to change so that next time we don't feel regret, remorse--that we can go back and we can say how can I do that differently? Because we're imperfect. Everyone is imperfect, but we're all striving to be the best that we can be, to be able to process the world. We didn't get to choose the world. The world is what it is, but how we choose to navigate through it is really important, we can teach our children the same thing.

Guilt versus Shame: Mindfulness as a Personal Inventory

Lara:

Reminds me of the way that Brené Brown talks about guilt versus shame. Guilt is "I made a mistake" and shame is "I am a mistake, I am not enough". Guilt is productive, it helps us to make better choices. Shame is not productive.  It tears us down and tears down those we love.  

Similarly, when we look at the divorce predictors, two of the big divorce predictors are criticism and contempt (sarcasm, eye rolling, mockery).  To me, contempt is shame dumped on others.  

On the other hand, if we say, "I feel upset when you do this," and "I need that,"-- complaining about behavior and saying, "I made a mistake." That’s guilt.  That’s healthy.  If we say, "I am a mistake", "I am not enough", or "you're not enough. You're a mistake," pointing fingers, whether it's at myself or others, it’s not healthy. But saying "I made a mistake" and making a better choice, that’s healthy and part of life.  

Shannon:

And being able to recognize it and to be able to take some time set aside so that you can process all of those feelings, so you can process whatever it is that passes through, and be able to choose, like you said, which ones are you going to keep and which ones do you need to let go.

Find Us

Join Shannon (and Lara) in a guided meditation at https://fb.watch/82vt1DuCc9/

Find Shannon at http://bellissimamas.com

Find Lara at little-elf.org 

Find Lara and Shannon at Placer Birth Connection at https://www.placerbirthconnection.com 

A postpartum doula for dads

Recently I had the exciting opportunity to interview Juan Irby II. Juan is a postpartum doula for dads. Here’s an excerpt from our conversation together.

Juan, tell me a little bit about how you got started as a postpartum doula.

I am Juan Irby. I am a postpartum doula for dads and also for families. I'm located in the North Carolina area--the Charlotte/Concord area. I started my journey with my first son, my first child. I went through postpartum depression and anxiety. You know I was having those feelings, okay, I'm not getting enough sleep. Is he okay? My life is changing; my life is not normal anymore.

And as a man, we're taught, “Don't cry. You're okay. Man up.” Things like that. But it's okay for men to cry. It's okay for men to seek help. Seeking help does not mean being defeated at all. And so, when I looked at go seek help there was no help in my area.

So, years go by, a friend of ours came over for Memorial Day, and we started talking about being a postpartum doula. So, I looked into it. I signed up that the next month. And in June, I became a certified postpartum doula and my business is called From Dad to Dudla. So you can find me on Instagram at dadtodudla and my website is www.dad2dudla.com, and I provide services for families, for dads. If you just want to talk and have one-on-one connection, you can share your story; I can share my story. And we can just chat, and go from there. But, my background is in business.

How much do you work in person versus virtually?

So I haven't done any in person yet. I've just done more virtual. I've had a few clients in Seattle, and one in Arizona, and we talk on a weekly basis just to get to know each other and also for me to see where their head space is. I want to make sure that, as a dad that they are not being forgotten in the fourth trimester, and because most dads are forgotten either in the birth or after birth, and I want to make sure that they are not forgotten because they play a great role in their child's life.

What are some of the challenges that dads often face?

Some of the challenges that I've seen, were dads being afraid of not having that one on one bonding time with their child or children. And what I would totally recommend is skin to skin contact. Skin to skin contact is very important within these first few hours of the child's life. And because having skin to skin contact is having your child listen to your heartbeat so it's going to regulate you and also going to regulate your child. It's going to catch on to your hormones, and it's going to calm you down, and also going to calm your child down as well. And just having that skin to skin contact is also going to regulate your child's temperature as well. So just making sure that that contact is there, that's going to start the bond of you and your child and you can do it from an hour, two hours, three hours, as long as you want to.

I love that so much. What else do you like to focus on when you're working with families?

What I like to focus on is the mental health of mom, dad, brother, sister, and everybody that want to be involved in that family. I know most people don't talk about it but I like to prepare a postpartum plan. And by having a postpartum plan, that lets you know, okay, who is going to be allowed to come into my house? Who's going to be allowed to touch my child or children? Who can, you know, do this and do that? And by having that plan and posting it on the refrigerator, or whatever, that gives them, Okay, this is what we need to do. If a baby is crying, okay, why is the baby crying? Is it hungry? Does it need to be changed? And just making sure that all of those options are there on that plan, so that mom can know, dad can know, because we have a lot of first time parents, and they really don't know how to do those things or how to change the diaper how to babywear, and I'm a huge fan of babywearing also.

Do you have any tips about babywearing?

I love the Moby Wrap classic. It's a large sheet of fabric. And I would use that for my skin that skin. So I will take off my shirt, wrap my son up in the Moby wrap, And he will be up against my chest, and also allowed me to get housework done, because he would fall asleep in the Moby Wrap. So while he's still asleep I was able to get things done, and have a sense of normalcy, while he was sleeping. And there tons of wraps out there. You have the Moby Wrap. You have the Katan. There's so many out there and I do recommend babywearing as skin to skin contact. Or just open up your shirt, put him in a blanket and just hold him close.

Do you have any favorite resources that you like to tell parents about?

I do actually, I like to tell people about Postpartum Support International, and being a PSI coordinator for dads. I like to recommend dads to come to the support groups that we have at Postpartum Support International. And they can share their story. They don't have to talk. But if they choose to talk, it's a group of men in there who share their stories. We come together. We have a whatsapp outside of the meeting that we have every month. And so, we check on each other. We say hey, has anybody gone through this yet? Or has anyone tried this? Or has anyone tried that? And that's how we as dads can communicate amongst ourselves. And so that way we can support each other, even though we may not be there in person. We can be there to support them and give them advice via that app.

How would somebody find that and get involved in Postpartum Support International?

So you would go to www.postpartum.net and or just type in Postpartum Support International, and there are a ton of resources on there from therapists to doctors to doulas to postpartum doulas, and there are coordinators that help you find someone located in your area with PSI.

How did you get started being a coordinator with Postpartum Support International?

I was in a doula group on Facebook, and someone reached out to me and said, I think you would be a good fit for this right here. So I did some research on being a PSI coordinator, and I emailed the manager. I was like hey, I would love to do this. My name is Juan Irby. I'm a postpartum doula for dads. I specialize in dads. I want to make sure that they're okay. If I need to lead a support group I can, and go from there. And so she emailed me back and was like, I love this. This is fantastic. I really need you on board ASAP. So, I went through the training, and I am now a PSI coordinator, specialized for dads, and we have a dad Zoom call. It's once a month right now, but we're gonna open it up to maybe once or twice or maybe three times a month. So dads can come in, express themselves and just get things off their chest, and we also have a support group for moms as well. And we also have a support group for women of color, BIPOC, and everything else. Anything you could think of, PSI has it.

Do you have any thoughts on teamwork for new parents?

I do actually. I am a huge advocate for parenting as a team. I would suggest that before you bring the baby home or right when you know that you're pregnant, come up with a plan on who's going to be doing what at home.

Are you guys going to breastfeed or bottle feed? If you do bottle feed, who's going to clean the bottles? Who's going to prepare the bottles? Who's going to make sure that the bottles are sterilized? That plan needs to be put in place because it's okay if one person does it and it's okay if both people do it.

But if we have that plan already, then we can say, "Okay, I'm gonna go down here to warm up the bottle if you can go get the baby." Or, "if you can go and get the baby, I'll go take care of the bottle," and we can tackle this together. And if and when baby does poop or pee then dad can change the diaper while mom gets the bottle, or mom can change the diaper while dad cleans the bottle. Just having those small conversations about that can really benefit the whole entire team. Who's going to take the first shift? Who's going to take the night shift? Who's going to take the day shift? Who's going to take the nap time?

When the baby sleeps, everyone should sleep, and I truly truly recommend that if the baby's sleeping, you need to get some rest as well.

I will also suggest hiring a postpartum doula. Because, while the baby is sleeping, the doula could be doing some laundry. The doula could be preparing a meal or doing those small things that you normally do on a daily basis. Until you guys get back into a routine with this new person, we're going to hire someone to help us out to just do the things that we normally do, because mom just gave birth or just had a c-section, and can't do a lot of going up and down the stairs or walking or things like that.

Dad is here. Dad can go up and down the stairs. Dad can do the laundry. Dad can do this, but dad also needs to rest. Dad also has his own birthing experience. And dad also has his own birthing story. Mom has her birthing story and dad has his birthing story. So I think it's very important for those things to be talked, those things to be expressed to one another, because communication is a big factor when it comes to parenting. And you have to communicate with each other in order for these things to get done.

Have you heard of the Gottman Bringing Baby Home program?

Have you heard of the Gottman Institute and their Bringing Baby Home program? I think it would be like so right up your alley. So the Gottman Institute studied marriage for many years, and they found they can predict, divorce, with like 90-some% accuracy. And so then they studied what happens to marriages when a baby is born. And they found that two thirds of the couples they studied experienced significant amounts of hostility. They created the Bringing Baby Home program to help with that communication that you were talking about, and the teamwork and asking questions, similar to what you're saying about creating a plan around what you're going to do for feeding. There are all kinds of activities in there about what kind of plans you need to make together as a team, and managing conflict and building friendship and intimacy skills. It's one of my many favorite things I like to teach. It’s been a good tool in my toolbox. It has a whole section about why dads are important. In general, dads tend to be super playful, and that is one of their superpowers. The play and the soothing are both things that dads can be really great at. And that's really powerful for the relationship as a couple, and for equality and both parents feeling confident and capable. You’re so right up my alley that I feel like I could just keep talking. But I also was totally hear what you have to say, so anything else that you want to add or anything else that comes to mind, I just love everything that you've. I love your work and and all the stuff I want to thank you so much for being here even, I don't know how much you want to say about where you are right now but congratulations.

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us, Juan! I can’t wait to chat again soon!

Resources

Find Juan Irby on Instagram at dadtodudla and www.dad2dudla.com

www.postpartum.net

Find Bringing Baby Home at little-elf.org/bbh or The Gottman Institute

Watch Juan’s interview here: https://www.facebook.com/placerbirthconnection/videos/557183272376797

A virtual birth doula?

Are you curious about what has happened to birth doulas since the pandemic? I recently interviewed Gemma Mrizo, a local Sacramento birth doula, about how she has been serving families virtually during these last months. Check it out! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcfY2bvagQs

Find Gemma at http://www.capitalcitydoulas.com/gemma-mrizo

Interview with a pelvic floor physical therapist on having a baby during a pandemic

I have been interviewing parents and professionals about what it’s like to have a baby during the pandemic. Recently I interviewed Dr. Romy Havard (she/her) of Peregrine Physical Therapy. Dr. Havard provides the East Bay Area, CA with orthopedic, prenatal, postpartum, pelvic floor, and wellness services. She went to UC Berkeley for undergraduate and later attended the UCSF/SFSU Joint Graduate Program in Physical Therapy with MS and DPT degrees. She is also Board Certified in the Orthopedic Section (OCS).

While she uses a broad variety of skills, she is most influenced by the Institute of Physical Art and utilizes functional manual therapy for optimal efficiency. She is also enthusiastic to incorporate concepts from Herman Wallace in pelvic health and contribute to advocacy for postpartum, incontinence, and transgender care.

Here is what we talked about (all emphasis mine):

Me: What are some of the challenges that you have experienced serving families during the pandemic?

Dr. Havard:

For the past 6 months, a lot of the major hospitals have ceased doing in person care for the majority of prenatal appointments. Unless you have dire deliveries, even the one postpartum follow-up is done online with OBGYN. So women who are delivering have little to no before or after care according to ACOG (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) standards. Normally you have all of your check-ups.  Everything except the ultrasound and the diabetes test is done online unless you have preeclampsia.  New moms are particularly isolated. Some are traumatized. Resources are few. Normally you would meet other moms in a mom group. They don’t have that extra help. They are wondering if their pain and lack of function are normal. I’ve been extraordinarily busy because I’m doing in-person visits. People are driving 45 minutes to see me because they could not be seen closer to home.  I often have women who cry through their appointments.  I have some days where half of my women are crying through their appointments.  

Two years ago ACOG had an article that they released about how postpartum care in the US is substandard.  That one appointment postpartum is not enough. But they didn’t really define what better care would be.  Pelvic physical therapy should be done with all our moms. And even that isn’t being done.  

Me: What are some of the frustrations that you have experienced serving families during the pandemic?

Dr. Havard:

I’m outside the electronic medical system. Smaller offices are easy. I fax them and they get back to me. If I think that this patient needs something specific, those offices are easy to deal with. But most of my patients come from giant Kaiser or giant Sutter. I write them. I fax them. It’s very hard to get them to get the patient what they need. I’m asking for things that are out of my scope of practice. Their lack of participation is alarming. These are things that I can’t do for them. Way more so during the pandemic. A lot of physicians doing Telehealth are doing it from home. If they are never going into the office. If no one is scanning notes and they can’t get to it… I’m not sure what is happening there. It’s even harder to contact doctors. I’m still in the medical system. I still need medical and surgical consultations from doctors. These people are already being seen by these people. I don’t know what’s going on over there. I don’t know if they have had a COVID breakout or what they are going through, but there’s only so many ways that I can send letters through.

Me: What are your fears for new parents at this time?

Dr. Havard:

I just don’t want something to be missed. In pelvic therapy, it’s not life or death, but there are issues around it that I worry that women not pursuing more medical care for things are going to make things worse later. I’m getting more severe diagnoses than I used to as well. I’m having more fecal incontinence patients than I used to and that’s alarming. They should be having consultations with colorectal surgeons, but these are considered non-essential services. I am worrying about their fecal incontinence long-term. I’m trying to be supportive and educate but not be triggering. I want moms to have all the tools, but I don’t want to say “and you need to do this now.” It’s easier when you are treating within a group of integrated professionals. I am not meant to be doing PT on my own with patients. They should be having medical support, nutritional support, GI support.

Me: What do you wish that new parents knew?

Dr. Havard:

New moms should seek care early and really consider preventative strategies. The more you can do to avoid more acute and serious issues, the better you will do and the more options you will have. Pelvic physical therapy is inseparable from the postpartum experience and should be part of postpartum care. Especially for moms who may not even get physicians to look at their pelvic tears. At 3 months, maybe you want to go back to having sex. At 6 months, you want to go back to running. 

… The women who are crying in my office are months from birth and they have been waiting for things to fix themselves. If they had started earlier, it would be a small thing. It wouldn’t interfere in their marriage. It wouldn’t make them start to wonder if they could have another kid.  There are lots of difficult thoughts. 

OBGYN postpartum just wants to make sure your cervix is closed, you’ve passed the placenta, that you don’t have infections, that you have contraception. They are not addressing the pelvic floor. If you are leaking at 6 weeks, that’s not normal. OBGYNs take care of general health, deliveries, general wellness, infection, venereal disease, contraception. Dealing with preventable testing like pap smears. They are not really treating leaking, prolapse, and pelvic pain issues.  Some of them are so helpful, quick to get back to patients.  

On one hand, just doing postpartum care is a little after the fact. Currently in the US and Britain 85% of women will have a perineal tear, 75% will require sutures.  I have one visit during pregnancy to decrease their chance of injury in delivery.  It’s not the same as childbirth education.  It’s just things that moms can do to decrease their injury. OBGYNs don’t necessarily work from the position of the mother ergonomics. It’s more about the baby. Working on the preventative side is great. I do recommend a visit with pelvic physical therapist before or during pregnancy week 30.  You need to start doing the exercises I prescribe daily easily 6-8 weeks before delivery for them to get maximal benefit.  I just had a mom who went through it and had no tearing. This is where we need to move - to not just care for tears postpartum.  In Australia a lot of people have a pelvic PT during labor so mom doesn’t get hurt.  Pelvic physical therapists in the United States don’t have hospital privileges to attend labor and delivery. The least I can do is to do education with moms about taking care of you to avoid tearing, prolapse, urine prolapse, etc.  and sometimes c-section.  

Me: If you were to look ahead to the future and everything amazing that you can imagine comes true, what would that look like?

Dr. Havard:

In Britain about 2 years ago they voted to add pelvic physical therapy to the standard of practice to be included in national health care.  Now even low and middle income women can have this as part of postpartum recovery.  Our mortality rate is equal to Mexico. A lot of the moms I see are also more into progressive prevention. I recommend if I was doing bare minimum for someone who is doing great otherwise is:

- one visit during second trimester in case you need a C-section or to minimize injury

- one visit at 6-8 weeks.

- Another visit ideally around 3-4 months. There’s a big hormonal shift then and a lot of women their repairs get worse at 3-4 months. 1 of 9 births will have a Hashimoto event.

- A visit around 6 months for women if they’re doing great. If they are fine with walking or jogging, a 6 month visit may be enough.

- For cross fit or heavy runners, another visit at 12 months as well.

I just want to send a big shout out to Dr. Havard and thank her for sharing her wisdom and experience. She serves in the East Bay in California. You can find her at https://peregrinept.org.

Top 5 Needs of New Parents

Here are some of the top reasons why a new family reaches out to me:

• The increase in work load and the decrease in sleep can make everyone grumpy. Dads may withdraw, and moms may find themselves critical of their partner. We need skills to keep our friendship strong and resume physical intimacy.  

• Before children, the person who cares the most about a disagreement often wins.  After children, both parents care intensely.  We need better skills for managing conflict than were necessary before children arrived.  

• An individual baby may be fussier than we expected, and it's impacting the family.  We want to know "Why is my baby crying?"

• New parents whose parents divorced want extra support for their relationship so that they don't pass on a legacy of divorce to their kids.   

• New parents want tools to build a supportive relationship with their kids and with each other, finding their own unique balance of kindness and firmness, so that their child grows up to be kind and confident.  

Can you relate?  Do you know someone else who can relate?  I am here to help!  I help couples with young children reduce the long term effects of stress on their relationship and their children.  I help fussy babies; critical, overwhelmed moms; and withdrawn dads to find joy and connection together, so that they experience more joy, better sex, an intimate partnership, and supportive relationships with their kids.  

If this sounds like someone you know, please share this free offer with them.  

Right now I'm starting a new coaching program and I'm giving away 30-minute family breakthrough sessions.  I've opened up just a few slots on my calendar for these free sessions. 

In this session we will:

• Get clear on your specific goals for your family

• Identify what's stopping you from seeing the results you want

• Zero in on your next best step to get you moving forward

To get started on your journey to managing conflict, reducing chaos, and connecting with your family, text "appointment" to 555888 or go to http://www.little-elf.org/appointments.

Photo by Minnie Zhou on Unsplash

Reflections from the journey...

I can’t believe it’s June already. May was largely focused on clarifying who I am, so that I can continue to clarify who I serve and what problem I solve. The clarity is coming in the form of a dimmer switch becoming clearer a little bit at a time.

At the very end of April, I attended the Bringing Baby Home educator training in Sacramento. It meant that I could not attend my business mentorship weekend. Here are a few things that have happened since then:

• I received the paperwork to become a Gottman Bringing Baby Home Training Specialist! Woo hoo!

• I have been slowly working my way through the recordings from the business mentorship retreat that I missed, and putting them into practice. I am working to build a coaching program to support parents who believe that parenting is a skill that can be learned and want to build a home where they and their children can thrive. I help parents to reduce chaos, manage family conflict, and find their child's "just right challenge" so that they and their kids have more laughter and fewer tears! I am the "serenity prayer" parenting coach - helping families to have peace to accept what they cannot change, courage to change the things they can, and wisdom to know the difference.

• I attended a workshop by Michael Bernoff, and as a result I have started to attend improv classes to increase my comfort zone. I am also planning to go back to Toastmasters to continue to improve my speaking and leadership skills.

I have also been participating in Stasia’s Style School. Stasia says, “Style isn't about the clothes. It's about YOU. It's about WHO YOU ARE on the inside. It's about standing strong in your body, and never hiding. It's about COURAGE, CONFIDENCE + CONGRUENCY.”

Today is graduation day from my 5-week Style School class. In my final reflection, I wrote:

So excited to be at the starting line of a new life of inside-outside congruence and hope. I grew up as a shy kid with a main focus of not attracting attention except for good grades. I had just started to get more outgoing, and then I was hit with the loss of 2 babies (one at 18 months and one miscarriage). After we lost our first one, I became an early childhood special educator. It gave me a chance to borrow kids and love on them and their parents. As things have shifted more and more towards inclusion, I find myself starting my own company doing parent coaching. I help parents to reduce chaos, manage family conflict, and find their child's "just right challenge" so that they and their kids have more laughter and fewer tears! I am the "serenity prayer" parenting coach - helping families to have peace to accept what they cannot change, courage to change the things they can, and wisdom to know the difference. I love it, and I am challenged because everyone wants to know "How many kids do you have?" Well, technically none but I'm still a mom! It seemed easier when I was totally in special education and I felt like everyone just "got it" better.

So I just really have appreciated digging into WHO I am and HOW I want to show up in the world. It has helped me to think more and more about my own positive character attributes. It has helped me to step into myself. It has helped me to remember what I'm all about. I am empathetic, insightful, intuitive (my clothes should make me breathe happy when I put them on), observant, playful, a learner (who makes mistakes and learns from them), and I am vibrant (full of LIFE)… The collage is my collage of favorite outfits from Style School.

If you or someone you know would be interested in a free 30 minute clarity call with me to discuss parenting goals and see if we would be a good fit to work together, please reach out to me at 408-679-2220 (text or voice) or lara@little-elf.org. Please also let me know if you need a speaker for a parenting group or parenting meet-up. I have spoken at Infant Development Association, Mothers of Preschoolers, Campbell Parent Participation Preschool, and Kaiser’s Mom & Baby group, and I would love to serve your group as well. Thanks!

Congruency and the Hero's Journey

We have been talking about becoming a superhero to our kids and families.  What does that mean exactly?  Joseph Campbell describes the "hero's journey" as one in which the hero goes on an adventure, battles an enemy, and goes through a transformation in the process.  So I want to be clear that I am not saying that we have to be the traditional "super mom" who does everything easily and looks perfect to all her friends.  In fact, I mean the opposite!  I mean that we are leaving our comfort zones to face unknown enemies, doubts, disbeliefs, and challenges and to see them as battles that bring transformation in our lives and make us stronger!  For me, I continue to work on clarifying WHO I am, what I am good at, and how I can meet the needs of families around me.  

In that spirit, my image today is a compilation created on worditout.comof words that my friends and family have used to describe me.  

My Title:  Mentor for Raising Happy, Respectful Kids Who Love to Learn(Aka the Peace of Mind Parent Coach)

My Superpower:  I create safe spaces for growth and connection.

What I do:  I help parents to reduce chaos, manage family conflict, and set developmentally appropriate expectations so that the whole family thrives.  

Book Recommendation: Level Up Your Life by Steve Kamb

In May, I am scheduling individual free sessions to explore how parenting is going and how I can serve you. Please reach out to me if you are interested!  You can find me at little-elf.org!

Bring Out Your Inner Superhero

As you learned last month, I have teamed up with Live Your Message (www.liveyourmessage.com) to create a Little Elf Family Services that brings out the inner superhero in each of us… starting with me and creating a ripple effect to the families that I serve.  I have joined their year-long mentorship program, where I aim to spend this next year discovering more about who I am at my best self and getting to know my families better.  My goal is to see how my best self can serve your deepest family needs to build a program that provides the highest value for and deep relationships with the families I serve.  I am shifting my focus from “How do I fill my classes?” to “How can I be at my best to bring out your best? How can I support you to get more of your needs met?  How can I help you and your partner and your child(ren) to cry less and smile more and grow as people?”  I aim to provide services of the highest value, so that you say “that was worth every penny I spent.” Last month I promised that these newsletters would reflect what I am learning along the way, so:

My Title:  Mentor for Raising Happy, Respectful Kids Who Love to Learn(Aka the Parenting Jedi Master)

My Superpower:  I create safe spaces for growth and connection.

What I do:  From pregnancy to preschool, I help parents create a nurturing, safe and consistent home so that children grow to be respectful and kind learners. (I turn everyday parents into superheroes for their kids.)

Book Recommendation: Level Up Your Lifeby Steve Kamb

I hope you will join my "office hours” Thursday, April 18 at 1:30 PM or 8 PM for 30 minutes so that we can connect and get to know each other better.  And I am also scheduling individual free sessions to explore how parenting is going and how I can serve you. 

Here's how Office Hours work.  I will be available on Zoom for anyone who wants to chat.  We will spend the time each sharing a high and a low of our week, so that we can get support and encouragement from one another.  

A few notes;
- Download the Zoom app ahead of time so that you don't miss the fun because of technical issues.  
- If you object to being recorded, please let me know that before we start.  
- For now we will start with just a 30 minute call, so please be courteous to ensure that everyone gets a turn to speak.  

Who:
- Any parent or adult family member is crazy about a child and wants the opportunity to share some time together and hear from other parents.  

When:
- Thursday, April 18 at 1:30 PM or 8 PM for 30 minutes

How:
Dial in to:  https://zoom.us/j/6961707205

Power Up! Join Me for Office Hours Today

Just a reminder that I will be hosting Office Hours today

Who:
- Any parent or adult family member is crazy about a child and wants the opportunity to share some time together and hear from other parents.  

When:
- Thursday, March 21 at 1:30 PM or 8 PM for 30 minutes

How:
Dial in to:  https://zoom.us/j/6961707205

Or: +1 408 638 0968, meeting ID 696-170-7205

You're Not Alone: Join Me for Office Hours Today

Just a reminder that we will be starting office hours today!

Dates: Thursday, March 7 and Thursday, March 21 at 1:30 PM or 8 PM for 30 minutes

Dial in to:  https://zoom.us/j/6961707205

Or dial +1 408 638 0968, meeting ID 696-170-7205

Download the app today so that you don’t miss out on any of the fun coming up!