Image by Alev Neto
Sharing what I’ve learned
I became a parent in 2007, and it changed me and my life completely. I realized just how much a person changes when they become a parent. It changed my values, my priorities, and my marriage! The things I learned cannot be summarized in one blog post or even in one blog. But here are just a few things that I would start with:
Before a baby is born, the person who is more passionate can win the argument. After a baby is born, hopefully both parents are passionate and you need actual conflict management strategies. No one prepared me for this. The stuff I learned from the Gottman Institute has been life changing for my marriage as well as for all of my relationships, including my relationships with my parents and extended family.
When a baby is on the way, BOTH parents need to fall crazy in love with that baby. And that can sometimes be harder than it seems like it should be. Sometimes we need to ask for help. It takes guts to ask for help. It’s a sign of strength, not of weakness.
When a baby arrives, BOTH parents deserve to sleep. Without it, we can’t function and we can’t be the kind of parent that we want to be.
Give me peace to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Parents are experts in their kids, and I am here to offer encouragement, tools, and empowerment to help parents to function at their best, for the good of BOTH themselves and their kids. I get so irked when people try to be such experts that they don’t leave room for the parent to be the expert in their family!
In some sense, I started my business to honor my son’s life after he passed away. But I think it’s important to acknowledge that it’s not your job to honor his life, and his life has had LOADS of meaning and helped TONS of people regardless of whether you buy my stuff or not. Seriously! My celebrations wall continues to fill up on a weekly, if not daily basis!
To help with real tools and amazing transformations
My parenting journey led to some crazy amazing experiences and education, and I have some really cool tools and experience that can help you. I am an awesome, differentiating behavior changing ninja. I am amazing at being a behavior detective, and I pull knowledge and experience from:
Over 15 years in early childhood special education, including a master’s degree and a clear teaching credential
Working with hundreds of families of all shapes, sizes, make-ups, and abilities in their homes, classrooms, and online in both English and Spanish
Being a detective of my kiddo, other people’s kiddos, and my two (very very different) dogs, as well as of my husband, my parents, and my sister and other family members
The things I’ve learned from the Gottman Institute about relationships and the 10+ years we have had of implementing it at home
All kinds of trainings in relationships and sleep such as certification as a Gottman educator and trainer, a sleep consultant, and then a sleep practitioner, as well as infant massage, toddler behavior, baby registry expert and more. I call myself a learning addict for a reason. Next week I’m getting certified as a Circle of Security Parenting Facilitator to be able to pull in even more attachment goodness into my work.
To focus on the happy and joyful moments
I am so proud when parents say things like “We knew we didn't need to panic when facing a new problem as you would be there, guiding us.” And “We’re constantly amazed by how your parenting philosophy has minimized confrontation and struggle, and allowed us to focus on the happy and joyful moments that our child brings us.” To me, that’s what life is about: minimizing confrontation and struggle and focusing on the happy and joyful moments with our families. Because I know firsthand that we don’t know how long we have, and we want to make the most of the relationships and the time that we do have.
And for me (and Charlie) too
AND I also wouldn’t be honest with you if I didn’t mention that a big part of why I’m so dedicated to my business is that this is how I want to make a living. When you buy coaching from me or when you tell your friends about the work I do, thank you! When you prioritize our time together and show up on time to your sessions—whether through your employee assistance program or through early intervention services or whether you pay me privately—all these things add up to help me to live a sustainable, rested, connected life that enables me to serve from a place of abundance and to spread that abundance to every family that I serve. I love being able to work from home and take great care of myself, my husband, and my rescue dog, Charlie. I believe that in order to nurture families well, I need to first nurture myself so that I am not serving from an empty cup. I need to be rested, connected, and thriving so that I can help YOU to do the same. So thank you for showing up, and thank you for telling your friends about the wins we are having together.
You might be wondering: "why is she even sharing this?" Because saying this out loud helps me resolve the inner tension I sometimes feel when I think about marketing, because pretending like it is 100% about serving you feels disingenuous. My business is about serving you AND me and my family, and my dog too (because figuring out Charlie’s special needs as a dog who was so nervous that he was hours from being put down has gotten REALLY expensive).
I believe trustworthy connection comes from authenticity, and acknowledging that my business supports both you AND me creates a more honest relationship between us. So here’s to supporting you AND me (and Charlie! He’s so cute!).
