Interview with a pelvic floor physical therapist on having a baby during a pandemic

I have been interviewing parents and professionals about what it’s like to have a baby during the pandemic. Recently I interviewed Dr. Romy Havard (she/her) of Peregrine Physical Therapy. Dr. Havard provides the East Bay Area, CA with orthopedic, prenatal, postpartum, pelvic floor, and wellness services. She went to UC Berkeley for undergraduate and later attended the UCSF/SFSU Joint Graduate Program in Physical Therapy with MS and DPT degrees. She is also Board Certified in the Orthopedic Section (OCS).

While she uses a broad variety of skills, she is most influenced by the Institute of Physical Art and utilizes functional manual therapy for optimal efficiency. She is also enthusiastic to incorporate concepts from Herman Wallace in pelvic health and contribute to advocacy for postpartum, incontinence, and transgender care.

Here is what we talked about (all emphasis mine):

Me: What are some of the challenges that you have experienced serving families during the pandemic?

Dr. Havard:

For the past 6 months, a lot of the major hospitals have ceased doing in person care for the majority of prenatal appointments. Unless you have dire deliveries, even the one postpartum follow-up is done online with OBGYN. So women who are delivering have little to no before or after care according to ACOG (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) standards. Normally you have all of your check-ups.  Everything except the ultrasound and the diabetes test is done online unless you have preeclampsia.  New moms are particularly isolated. Some are traumatized. Resources are few. Normally you would meet other moms in a mom group. They don’t have that extra help. They are wondering if their pain and lack of function are normal. I’ve been extraordinarily busy because I’m doing in-person visits. People are driving 45 minutes to see me because they could not be seen closer to home.  I often have women who cry through their appointments.  I have some days where half of my women are crying through their appointments.  

Two years ago ACOG had an article that they released about how postpartum care in the US is substandard.  That one appointment postpartum is not enough. But they didn’t really define what better care would be.  Pelvic physical therapy should be done with all our moms. And even that isn’t being done.  

Me: What are some of the frustrations that you have experienced serving families during the pandemic?

Dr. Havard:

I’m outside the electronic medical system. Smaller offices are easy. I fax them and they get back to me. If I think that this patient needs something specific, those offices are easy to deal with. But most of my patients come from giant Kaiser or giant Sutter. I write them. I fax them. It’s very hard to get them to get the patient what they need. I’m asking for things that are out of my scope of practice. Their lack of participation is alarming. These are things that I can’t do for them. Way more so during the pandemic. A lot of physicians doing Telehealth are doing it from home. If they are never going into the office. If no one is scanning notes and they can’t get to it… I’m not sure what is happening there. It’s even harder to contact doctors. I’m still in the medical system. I still need medical and surgical consultations from doctors. These people are already being seen by these people. I don’t know what’s going on over there. I don’t know if they have had a COVID breakout or what they are going through, but there’s only so many ways that I can send letters through.

Me: What are your fears for new parents at this time?

Dr. Havard:

I just don’t want something to be missed. In pelvic therapy, it’s not life or death, but there are issues around it that I worry that women not pursuing more medical care for things are going to make things worse later. I’m getting more severe diagnoses than I used to as well. I’m having more fecal incontinence patients than I used to and that’s alarming. They should be having consultations with colorectal surgeons, but these are considered non-essential services. I am worrying about their fecal incontinence long-term. I’m trying to be supportive and educate but not be triggering. I want moms to have all the tools, but I don’t want to say “and you need to do this now.” It’s easier when you are treating within a group of integrated professionals. I am not meant to be doing PT on my own with patients. They should be having medical support, nutritional support, GI support.

Me: What do you wish that new parents knew?

Dr. Havard:

New moms should seek care early and really consider preventative strategies. The more you can do to avoid more acute and serious issues, the better you will do and the more options you will have. Pelvic physical therapy is inseparable from the postpartum experience and should be part of postpartum care. Especially for moms who may not even get physicians to look at their pelvic tears. At 3 months, maybe you want to go back to having sex. At 6 months, you want to go back to running. 

… The women who are crying in my office are months from birth and they have been waiting for things to fix themselves. If they had started earlier, it would be a small thing. It wouldn’t interfere in their marriage. It wouldn’t make them start to wonder if they could have another kid.  There are lots of difficult thoughts. 

OBGYN postpartum just wants to make sure your cervix is closed, you’ve passed the placenta, that you don’t have infections, that you have contraception. They are not addressing the pelvic floor. If you are leaking at 6 weeks, that’s not normal. OBGYNs take care of general health, deliveries, general wellness, infection, venereal disease, contraception. Dealing with preventable testing like pap smears. They are not really treating leaking, prolapse, and pelvic pain issues.  Some of them are so helpful, quick to get back to patients.  

On one hand, just doing postpartum care is a little after the fact. Currently in the US and Britain 85% of women will have a perineal tear, 75% will require sutures.  I have one visit during pregnancy to decrease their chance of injury in delivery.  It’s not the same as childbirth education.  It’s just things that moms can do to decrease their injury. OBGYNs don’t necessarily work from the position of the mother ergonomics. It’s more about the baby. Working on the preventative side is great. I do recommend a visit with pelvic physical therapist before or during pregnancy week 30.  You need to start doing the exercises I prescribe daily easily 6-8 weeks before delivery for them to get maximal benefit.  I just had a mom who went through it and had no tearing. This is where we need to move - to not just care for tears postpartum.  In Australia a lot of people have a pelvic PT during labor so mom doesn’t get hurt.  Pelvic physical therapists in the United States don’t have hospital privileges to attend labor and delivery. The least I can do is to do education with moms about taking care of you to avoid tearing, prolapse, urine prolapse, etc.  and sometimes c-section.  

Me: If you were to look ahead to the future and everything amazing that you can imagine comes true, what would that look like?

Dr. Havard:

In Britain about 2 years ago they voted to add pelvic physical therapy to the standard of practice to be included in national health care.  Now even low and middle income women can have this as part of postpartum recovery.  Our mortality rate is equal to Mexico. A lot of the moms I see are also more into progressive prevention. I recommend if I was doing bare minimum for someone who is doing great otherwise is:

- one visit during second trimester in case you need a C-section or to minimize injury

- one visit at 6-8 weeks.

- Another visit ideally around 3-4 months. There’s a big hormonal shift then and a lot of women their repairs get worse at 3-4 months. 1 of 9 births will have a Hashimoto event.

- A visit around 6 months for women if they’re doing great. If they are fine with walking or jogging, a 6 month visit may be enough.

- For cross fit or heavy runners, another visit at 12 months as well.

I just want to send a big shout out to Dr. Havard and thank her for sharing her wisdom and experience. She serves in the East Bay in California. You can find her at https://peregrinept.org.

Top 5 Needs of New Parents

Here are some of the top reasons why a new family reaches out to me:

  • The increase in work load and the decrease in sleep can make everyone grumpy. Dads may withdraw, and moms may find themselves critical of their partner. We need skills to keep our friendship strong and resume physical intimacy.  

  • Before children, the person who cares the most about a disagreement often wins.  After children, both parents care intensely.  We need better skills for managing conflict than were necessary before children arrived.  

  • An individual baby may be fussier than we expected, and it's impacting the family.  We want to know "Why is my baby crying?"

  • New parents whose parents divorced want extra support for their relationship so that they don't pass on a legacy of divorce to their kids.   

  • New parents want tools to build a supportive relationship with their kids and with each other, finding their own unique balance of kindness and firmness, so that their child grows up to be kind and confident.  


Can you relate?  Do you know someone else who can relate?  I am here to help!  I help couples with young children reduce the long term effects of stress on their relationship and their children.  I help fussy babies; critical, overwhelmed moms; and withdrawn dads to find joy and connection together, so that they experience more joy, better sex, an intimate partnership, and supportive relationships with their kids.  

If this sounds like someone you know, please share this free offer with them.  

Right now I'm starting a new coaching program and I'm giving away 30-minute family breakthrough sessions.  I've opened up just a few slots on my calendar for these free sessions. 

In this session we will:

  • Get clear on your specific goals for your family

  • Identify what's stopping you from seeing the results you want

  • Zero in on your next best step to get you moving forward

To get started on your journey to managing conflict, reducing chaos, and connecting with your family, text "appointment" to 555888 or go to http://www.little-elf.org/appointments.

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Photo by Minnie Zhou on Unsplash

Reflections from the journey...

I can’t believe it’s June already. May was largely focused on clarifying who I am, so that I can continue to clarify who I serve and what problem I solve. The clarity is coming in the form of a dimmer switch becoming clearer a little bit at a time.

At the very end of April, I attended the Bringing Baby Home educator training in Sacramento. It meant that I could not attend my business mentorship weekend. Here are a few things that have happened since then:

  • I received the paperwork to become a Gottman Bringing Baby Home Training Specialist! Woo hoo!

  • I have been slowly working my way through the recordings from the business mentorship retreat that I missed, and putting them into practice. I am working to build a coaching program to support parents who believe that parenting is a skill that can be learned and want to build a home where they and their children can thrive. I help parents to reduce chaos, manage family conflict, and find their child's "just right challenge" so that they and their kids have more laughter and fewer tears! I am the "serenity prayer" parenting coach - helping families to have peace to accept what they cannot change, courage to change the things they can, and wisdom to know the difference.

  • I attended a workshop by Michael Bernoff, and as a result I have started to attend improv classes to increase my comfort zone. I am also planning to go back to Toastmasters to continue to improve my speaking and leadership skills.

I have also been participating in Stasia’s Style School. Stasia says, “Style isn't about the clothes. It's about YOU. It's about WHO YOU ARE on the inside. It's about standing strong in your body, and never hiding. It's about COURAGE, CONFIDENCE + CONGRUENCY.”

Today is graduation day from my 5-week Style School class. In my final reflection, I wrote:

So excited to be at the starting line of a new life of inside-outside congruence and hope. I grew up as a shy kid with a main focus of not attracting attention except for good grades. I had just started to get more outgoing, and then I was hit with the loss of 2 babies (one at 18 months and one miscarriage). After we lost our first one, I became an early childhood special educator. It gave me a chance to borrow kids and love on them and their parents. As things have shifted more and more towards inclusion, I find myself starting my own company doing parent coaching. I help parents to reduce chaos, manage family conflict, and find their child's "just right challenge" so that they and their kids have more laughter and fewer tears! I am the "serenity prayer" parenting coach - helping families to have peace to accept what they cannot change, courage to change the things they can, and wisdom to know the difference. I love it, and I am challenged because everyone wants to know "How many kids do you have?" Well, technically none but I'm still a mom! It seemed easier when I was totally in special education and I felt like everyone just "got it" better.

So I just really have appreciated digging into WHO I am and HOW I want to show up in the world. It has helped me to think more and more about my own positive character attributes. It has helped me to step into myself. It has helped me to remember what I'm all about. I am empathetic, insightful, intuitive (my clothes should make me breathe happy when I put them on), observant, playful, a learner (who makes mistakes and learns from them), and I am vibrant (full of LIFE)… The collage is my collage of favorite outfits from Style School.

If you or someone you know would be interested in a free 30 minute clarity call with me to discuss parenting goals and see if we would be a good fit to work together, please reach out to me at 408-679-2220 (text or voice) or lara@little-elf.org. Please also let me know if you need a speaker for a parenting group or parenting meet-up. I have spoken at Infant Development Association, Mothers of Preschoolers, Campbell Parent Participation Preschool, and Kaiser’s Mom & Baby group, and I would love to serve your group as well. Thanks!

Congruency and the Hero's Journey

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We have been talking about becoming a superhero to our kids and families.  What does that mean exactly?  Joseph Campbell describes the "hero's journey" as one in which the hero goes on an adventure, battles an enemy, and goes through a transformation in the process.  So I want to be clear that I am not saying that we have to be the traditional "super mom" who does everything easily and looks perfect to all her friends.  In fact, I mean the opposite!  I mean that we are leaving our comfort zones to face unknown enemies, doubts, disbeliefs, and challenges and to see them as battles that bring transformation in our lives and make us stronger!  For me, I continue to work on clarifying WHO I am, what I am good at, and how I can meet the needs of families around me.  

In that spirit, my image today is a compilation created on worditout.comof words that my friends and family have used to describe me.  

My Title:  Mentor for Raising Happy, Respectful Kids Who Love to Learn(Aka the Peace of Mind Parent Coach)

My Superpower:  I create safe spaces for growth and connection.

What I do:  I help parents to reduce chaos, manage family conflict, and set developmentally appropriate expectations so that the whole family thrives.  

Book Recommendation: Level Up Your Life by Steve Kamb

In May, I am scheduling individual free sessions to explore how parenting is going and how I can serve you. Please reach out to me if you are interested!  You can find me at little-elf.org!

Bring Out Your Inner Superhero

As you learned last month, I have teamed up with Live Your Message (www.liveyourmessage.com) to create a Little Elf Family Services that brings out the inner superhero in each of us… starting with me and creating a ripple effect to the families that I serve.  I have joined their year-long mentorship program, where I aim to spend this next year discovering more about who I am at my best self and getting to know my families better.  My goal is to see how my best self can serve your deepest family needs to build a program that provides the highest value for and deep relationships with the families I serve.  I am shifting my focus from “How do I fill my classes?” to “How can I be at my best to bring out your best? How can I support you to get more of your needs met?  How can I help you and your partner and your child(ren) to cry less and smile more and grow as people?”  I aim to provide services of the highest value, so that you say “that was worth every penny I spent.” Last month I promised that these newsletters would reflect what I am learning along the way, so:

My Title:  Mentor for Raising Happy, Respectful Kids Who Love to Learn(Aka the Parenting Jedi Master)

My Superpower:  I create safe spaces for growth and connection.

What I do:  From pregnancy to preschool, I help parents create a nurturing, safe and consistent home so that children grow to be respectful and kind learners. (I turn everyday parents into superheroes for their kids.)

Book Recommendation: Level Up Your Lifeby Steve Kamb

I hope you will join my "office hours” Thursday, April 18 at 1:30 PM or 8 PM for 30 minutes so that we can connect and get to know each other better.  And I am also scheduling individual free sessions to explore how parenting is going and how I can serve you. 

Here's how Office Hours work.  I will be available on Zoom for anyone who wants to chat.  We will spend the time each sharing a high and a low of our week, so that we can get support and encouragement from one another.  

A few notes;
- Download the Zoom app ahead of time so that you don't miss the fun because of technical issues.  
- If you object to being recorded, please let me know that before we start.  
- For now we will start with just a 30 minute call, so please be courteous to ensure that everyone gets a turn to speak.  

Who:
- Any parent or adult family member is crazy about a child and wants the opportunity to share some time together and hear from other parents.  

When:
- Thursday, April 18 at 1:30 PM or 8 PM for 30 minutes

How:
Dial in to:  
https://zoom.us/j/6961707205