Today I am focusing a lot on practicing learning my dog's body language, and it's reminding me of how key it is for ALL parents to learn their child's body language.
For example, every new parent should (in my opinion) have a basic understanding of the 6 states of infant consciousness:
1) quiet alert is when the baby is most available for learning. It's a "green light" for interaction. They aren't sleepy. They aren't hungry. They aren't fussing or crying. This is the time to talk, read, and sing to your baby. This is the time to give them a massage. The challenge is that the baby is also quiet and not fussing and doesn't "need" you. A lot of the time this is the time when we can get things done. But if you're able, it's helpful if you can stop and talk to your baby when they are quiet and able to engage with us.
2) active alert is when the baby is starting to fuss. It's a "yellow light" for interaction. It's the period when it's easiest to read their cues for what the need is. It's important to remember that fussiness is a way that babies express their needs. You might want to experiment to see if you can use Priscilla Dunstan's Baby Language to figure out what the sound of the cry is telling you. (www.dunstanbaby.com) Sometimes active alert is a sign that a baby missed the sleep "window of opportunity" and has hit a "second wind." Beware the second wind! It can seem like the previous yawn was just faking us out, but then the meltdown is coming!
3) crying. Once a baby goes into full blown crying, the primary goal is to soothe them WHILE STAYING CALM OURSELVES. It's important to remember that babies are emotional sponges. So if you are getting too upset yourself, it's important to either tag team with another adult or put on some soothing music or even put your baby down for a few minutes while you focus on soothing yourself.
4) drowsiness. Some common signs of drowsiness include yawning, eye rubbing, and staring off into space. Many parents have found that bringing a young baby into a bright light or gently blowing on their eyes can help them to blink, and with the right timing those eyes might just stay shut! When we see signs of drowsiness, it's important to respond right away. Otherwise, as we said earlier, we can miss the window of opportunity. Not fun!
5) light sleep/active sleep. A baby in light sleep is moving around in their sleep. They might be making noise in their sleep. If you lift up an arm or leg, it will stay in the air because it's not that relaxed yet. A new baby will fall asleep first in a light sleep stage, and a new parent will often try to put them down too soon! It depends on your goal of the moment. If you really want that baby to stay asleep, it's helpful to wait for deep sleep to put them down. However, putting a baby down in light sleep can give them practice at soothing themselves back to sleep and that can be a good thing if you're up for that in the moment. If you need to wake your baby to feed them or to go to daycare or for any other reason, try to wake them from a light sleep so that they might be less groggy.
6). deep sleep. A baby in deep sleep has more even breathing. If you lift up an arm or leg, it is so relaxed that it will drop right back down. Try not to wake a baby who is in a deep sleep. If you need to wake your sleeping baby, wait a few minutes for them to move around or make a few noises. They are likely to be less groggy that way.
What do you think? Did you know about these as a new parent? Did you find it easy to read your child's body language? When was it NOT easy? What new parent do you know who needs to know this?
