We are working on reducing the "4 Horsemen" from our relationships. In January we worked on identifying when we notice criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling in our relationships. In February we practiced the antidote to contempt: creating a culture of appreciation. In March we practiced the antidote to criticism: complaining without blaming. This month, instead of choosing blame and defensiveness, we are going to practice choosing responsibility and accountability.
"Next, we get down to the hard part. We each have to take some responsibility for our part in the fight. Nobody likes doing this. But when we do, the problem becomes our problem in communicating, and not the diabolical dealings of Lex Luthor, who, of course, is our partner, and not ourselves. Arguments are almost never one person's fault" (excerpt from John Gottman & Julie Schwartz Gottman's book And Baby Makes Three, 2007, p. 109).
