We are working on reducing the "4 Horsemen" from our relationships.

In January we worked on identifying when we notice criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling in our relationships.
In February we practiced the antidote to contempt: creating a culture of appreciation.
In March we practiced the antidote to criticism: complaining without blaming.
In April we practiced the antidote to defensiveness: taking responsibility for our part of the problem.
This month, we are practicing the antidote to stonewalling: taking a break to calm down before discussing a problem.

The challenge has two parts:

First, when we are calm we need to make an agreement with our partners that it is okay to take a break when we are feeling overwhelmed.
Then when we feel overwhelmed or "flooded", we need to realize it and ask for a break.

Come back next Monday for more thoughts on why we should take a break when we notice that one or both of us are stonewalling.