Given the potential stress of this holiday season, we are focusing this month on practices for reducing stress. The first practice is a daily "stress reducing conversation." The goal is for each of us to have 10-15 minutes to vent about something outside of our relationship. The goal for the listener is to help our partner to feel heard and valued, and to know that we are a team together. If we are not intentional, stress from outside the relationship can get into the relationship. If we can be a good listener and help our partner to feel heard, we can reduce their stress and keep our relationship healthy. The key to a good stress reducing conversation is that understanding must precede advice! Check out this article from the Gottman Institute about how to have a stress reducing conversation.
Here is a video example as well.
Remember! What do we do if we agree with the enemy? For example, our partner got criticized for being late, and we know that he/she is often late. We can use EMPATHY to agree with how our partner feels without addressing the facts of how often he/she is late. We will get into more detail on this coming up...
