Hi! I’m Lara Elfstrand

MA ECSE, IF-ATMHP, CEIM, gottman educator & trainer

I am from a family where every couple in my parents’ generation ended up divorcing at least once, and it inspires me to help families to have healthy, connected relationships. 

Lara Elfstrand

The day that our son, Timothy, was born.

After losing our son to mitochondrial disease, my husband and I almost lost our marriage as well. I am here to share what we learned from the experience, so that you don’t have to go through what we went through. While I can’t control mitochondrial disease, I can help you to create a family that is full of life and empty of regrets - no matter what happens.

Because of my experience as a parent,

  • I want to help every couple to transition to being parents at a similar rate, so that no one feels left behind or alone, resentful of their partner.

  • I don’t want any parent to feel isolated and overwhelmed, without the support that they need to eat nutritious foods, nap or take a shower.

  • Whenever humanly possible, I want every child to be loved by TWO parents who are irrationally crazy about him or her.

  • I want every parent to know how to reduce their assumptions, so that they regularly express their needs and their gratitude for what their partner and their child are doing right.

  • I want both parents to be experts in their child, working together as one positive, playful parenting team.

 

“It’s easy to see that you have a wonderful soul and are extremely successful at making those around you feel loved, warm, and safe.”

- Mother of an 18-month old

How can my holistic approach help you to fall in love with parenting… together?

I combine the latest research from early childhood development, infant mental health, and marriage research from the Gottman Institute to address and prevent the challenges that you face from pregnancy to preschool.

We develop a comprehensive plan to help you create a family that you enjoy.

I customize the tools to fit the needs of your family, to create a warm and nurturing environment where you and your children can thrive.

My Values

  • * Respect

    * Empathy

    * Growth mindset and the celebration of mistakes as learning opportunities

    * Gratitude

    * Accepting responsibility for my part of the problem

    * Problem solving before and after the blow-up (not during)

    * KALM: known, appreciated, loved, motivated

    * Listening before offering advice

    * The Goldilocks principle: the “Just right” challenge (although I am sorry she was so rude to break into the bears’ house, and I would prefer a different illustration)

    * Taking breaks to calm down

    * Complaining about behavior rather than criticizing or shaming the other person’s character

    * Expressing needs before they build up

    * Guilt (I DID something bad) rather than shame (I AM something bad; I am not enough)

    * 5 times more positive interactions than negative ones WHEN WE ARE FIGHTING and 20 times more when we are not fighting - a smile, a touch, a joke

    * Small, predictable stressors that build resilience

    * Learning through play in a positive, safe environment

    * Being aware of how we want to parent

  • * All or nothing thinking, perfectionism, procrastination

    * The four horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling

    * Flooding (fight or flight) without taking breaks; responding to flooding while flooded

    * Cry it out without a “just right challenge” plan

    * Sink or swim mentality

    * Shaming and blaming

My Education & Trainings

    • Master’s degree & clear teaching credential in early childhood special education through Santa Clara University and Cal State Fullerton

    • Pyramid Model through the Center on the Social Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL)

    • Love and Logic positive parenting techniques

    • SPARK Communication early intervention strategies through the Hanen Centre

    • Fellow of the Napa Infant-Parent Mental Health Fellowship through U.C. Davis Extension

    • Infant Family Advanced Transdisciplinary Mental Health Practitioner

    • Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics through the Child Trauma Academy

    • Gottman Bringing Baby Home educator for parents

    • One of the few Gottman Bringing Baby Home trainers for professionals in the USA outside of Washington State

    • Certifying postpartum doula

    • Certified Educator of Infant Massage through Infant Massage USA

    • Trained in Happiest Baby on the Block

    • Brazelton’s TouchPoints and Newborn Behavior Observations

    • The NCAST Parent-Child Interaction Feeding Scale

    • Building Positive, Playful Co-Parenting Teams to Support the Potential of all Children at Infant Development Association

    • Guest appearance on TLC's Rattled (not aired)

    • Guest speaker at San Jose State University's typical/atypical development class

    • Mothers of Preschoolers

    • Kaiser new parent support groups

    • San Jose Holistic Moms Network, and more.  

    • Fully bilingual in Spanish and able to communicate and coach in both English and Spanish

I was recently interviewed on Your Healthy Living, a show that inspires healthy and natural lifestyles. Hosts Alexandrew and Dr. Shasta Tierra interview a new guest every week about their professions in helping lead others to healthier lives both physically and mentally.

Resources:

Baby Registry

Sacramento Resources

Nationwide Resources

©Lara Elfstrand, MA ECSE, IF-ATMHP - Little Elf Family Services, P.O. Box 5098, Auburn, CA 95604